I decided to stay at home tonight and watch some dvd’s tonight because hey that’s what you do when your sick.
I hired myself the Queit American and the accidental hero. I got 5 chapters into the Quiet American before getting bored. It wasn’t that it was a bad movie I just wasn’t in the mood. I watched some of Spooks at tv show with my mum instead for an hour. Now I am going to try Acidental hero out.
I like reading books. The only problem is I read too quickly.
I’ve got a really sore throat today. I am staying home from work.
There was no toast left this morning I was not happy.
I went to gangshow tonight to see Michael perform. It was alright not the kind of thing I’d go and see if I didn’t know anyone in it. Michael was great. It was fun seeing him sing and dance he really got into it. They also had some cool Westfield footage.
It was really nice to see some kids you wouldn’t usually see on stage performing and having a great time.
I walked home on an alternating left right pattern once I was on the highway. It was a good bit of fun. Albert Lane has some fun hills. Anyway that’s about all I can be bothered to say. Good night sweet blog.
I think youth workers should do suicide training courses.
There’s a guy I have recently meet who suffers from a bit of the old depression and is into a bit of the old withdraw/sulk. I personally have no problem with the withdrawal of oneself but expect other people to follow you and talk to you is a bit wrong and maniuplitive. Whilst it is not nessary seen by the withdrawing person as manipulative others often feel compeled to act. This is where the manipulation comes in. I know I once did this both with good intentions and bad ones.
A cry for help should be “HELP, HELP.” nothing else. Unfortunatly we are unable to ask so simply. And so it becomes an issue. I think the best way to deal with unhealthy cries for help is to explain how people should ask, help them a few times on repeats but then unless things are dire ignore them until they ask properly. There is nothing wrong with pissing off people from time to time. Eventually people learn that doing that activity wont get them the attention and they’ll learn either to repress or deal better. I know I did.
Now suicidal people are a bit different. I think that it is important to make some form of agreement that binds them to talk to you before they do it.
Of course every case is different and I am no pro. So use your judegmnet and seek pro advice.
There was some talk tonight about women at Community Dinner tonight. I have decided that whilst there are people with whom I see the potential for a realationship, I am not going to act on it. I think at the moment getting into an unriquited love situation would just plain suck. Therefore I have no plans to do anything about women unless someone actually shows a specific interest in me. Whilst I would love to have a girlfriend I think that it is not the wisest place to be concentrating on at the moment.
Chris was talking about a time of badness. It reminded of a few little old things. One I never thought I’d be good friends with either Chris or Howie. It just kind of happened. Which I am glad of. Chris and Howie are both really cool guys.
I believe that the time that I spent with the old ST PETE’s crew was not wasted. I think that inspite of the pain and difficulties it was one of the most valueable healthy growing periods of my life thus far. When I entered into that group of friends I was comming of one of the worst groups of friends you can imagine. I was often the subject of fun with my old friends and suffered much unhappiness. I was in a very bad way when I came across my new friends. I often acted irrationally and ultimatly foolishly in this new group of friends. But these new friends treated me with respect and love regardless of how I behaved. I grew because of this respect and love. I think everyone grew as a result of being in this group.
Then again everyone got hurt. But that I am afraid is inevitable when you get a group of people so intiment particulary when there teenage
A few general comments.
In terms of the Ted thing I was a bit desperate and put a bit to much energy into trying to salvage it. In the end it kind of fizzled when she got with Ben. Recently our friendship has been restored it is better but much less intense.
The Chris thing, I wasn’t really his friend much back then. I was probably also a bit jealous of him back then. Thankfully I no longer feel that way.
Anyway these are just a few of many reflections I have had since back then. Many will never be disclosed on this blog because to do so would betray individuals confidences.I am good at keeping dark secrets, I suck at keeping trivial ones. Don’t tell me your walking back from the airport in secret, do tell me that you accidently killed someone.
Anyway I’d like to thank everyone from the old ST PETE’s crew for being my friend in a difficult time.
I meet Howie today for hot chips and gravy. It was good I like Howie. Then I had some Gelato which was also good. And then I went to Turra Uniting which was also good. The sermon was on taking up the cross and which cross we are meant to take up. It was done well. Lots of the people at Turra are going to Hillsong conference this week. I don’t like Hillsong but I think I need to be able to love and respect people who do. Anyway I walked home from Turra tonight it took about 45 minutes. I did it because I just missed a train and didn’t feel like waiting. It was good fun. I listened to Dire Straights.
I am reading a book Steve got for me The Seads of Contemplation by Thomas Merton, it is pretty cool stuff. All about being who God created you too be, loving people and God, finding your true self and a whole bunch of other cool stuff.
Anyway I fixed Tom’s PC up today. So that makes me feel happy. Upgraded the boy to the 4.5 Pinacle drivers and latest nvidia ones too. I hung around with Howie today which was good fun. Didn’t do much but that was fine. Anyway unfortunatly not much has been happening in my life at the moment. But that’s okay.
VMWARE is the bomb. But my 2.5 kernel took a long time to compile and didn’t even boot.
Well today I went shopping. I got myself the new Radiohead CD and a new 80 GB hard drive. It is a nice and quite hard drive. Anyway I am installing RedHat 9 into my VMWare virtual machine.
It’s my birthday today. I am now offically 21 years old. Hurrah for me. Anyway I think today will be a nice day. I am going up to Lawson in a while to visit my Nana and Pop. I like them a lot.