One Geek

I find it interesting, the people who I see and know who are doing real good are so uncertain about the amount of good they are doing, and even their own motives. It’s strange, this somewhat reassures me in my life. I really hope I am not ever too comfortable or complacent, until I am in the next life. I am hoping that my current work which doesn’t really engage my central passions, is actually going to fund a really useful and good thesis. At least lots of my work is on a project aiming to improve public transport, which should fulfil a cardinal rule of aid and development of “first do no harm”. Though the amount of paper I am using on this job at the moment is slightly scary. Stupid drawings.

Anyway I think all I was saying here really was that I am feeling comforted by being uncertain in life. Since my India trip was cancelled I’ve been feeling a bit down, and a bit unpurposey and general uncertain. I’ve been trying to focus myself on my thesis and doing that well now, but even though I am currently doing it, it seems so far off. Also I’m trying to work out what I want to do after June next year. Too many options, sadly few of the ones I like are in Sydney.

The other thing that I think I need to do is focus more on God, but that is a whole other post.

I don’t normally link to things like sermons on my blog, but this NT Wright sermon is bloody brilliant. It is one of the Christmas sermons I’ve seen/heard/read. A true call to action. Read it even if you don’t believe in Jesus, it will show you an important but neglected side/role of Christianity.

Last month wasn’t very pleasant but this month so far has been great.
God’s timing is far better then mine.
News that a little while would of caused me much anxiety and stress if I found out earlier I am now fine with.
I keep on finding out lots of little pieces coming together in rather nice ways.
Many extra little surprises that I can only attribute to God.
I have got through lots of my work and now it’s a bit over 2 weeks until I am home now which is exciting.
In fact I am feeling a little like a child around Christmas which is fantastic.

I am reading The Last Week by Borg and Crossan. It is an interesting look at the last week before Jesus’s death and resurrection. It is a book which seems to be leaning heavily to liberation theology. It takes what I am finding a challenging look at Mark.

It argues that atonement sacrifice is not really what Mark is writing about. That it is more about Jesus calling to participate in death and resurrection. It is interesting reading about the Bible placed in a political and historical light. An example of this is Jesus entering on a donkey into Jerusalem from one side and Pilate entering on the same day in a pomp procession. I really am wondering how much of the truth of Jesus we have neglected over the centuries as Christianity has lost its place as a radical movement.

Whenever I read the gospels I can’t help but think that I am selling Jesus short in His radical mission for personal and collective change.

One question I am thinking about is how many layers of meaning can the gospels and the Bible have. If it is the living Word of God then does this mean that the message and interpritation changes in light of historical evidence and new theological thought are simply part of God’s continuing revelation to us. Can one reconcile literal and non-literal interpretations of the text? Is the Bible about Questions or Answers?

I am begining to feel the passion building up again with in me about my trip. Whilst the job is overwhelmingly huge and it’s going to be hard living without my wonderful Sydney community when I start thinking about the work that I am going to be doing I get excited again. I am determined to do the best I can do.

Years ago the best I could do would simply be creating a kick arse computer system that worked well with little down time. Unfortunately for me I have come to redifine things and am much more concearned with the human diamention. I want to now set up systems that work, are sustainable, reliable, and most elusive of all empowering. I am not quite sure how to do that last one. I also want to try and create in a highly hireacical society a department based on peers with different responsibility.
Part of my dream for the IT Department in the Hospital is that it will be outward looking. That it will be looking how to serve the community in which it is based in practical ways. I am also thinking of doing a thing where IT workers have to go and work in other departments for a day a month..

In addition to all this is the language element. I want to fight for a department where the local language, the national language and English can all be used.

I think I might be dreaming. But dreams are fun.

Lately the disparity in this world has been really getting to me.

How can God love everyone in this planet and live so many in utter poverty?

Why do the worst things seem to happen where the poorest of the world live?

How can our nation be getting so fat whilst so many go hungry?

Why do I have so many great friends whilst others are so lonely?

How can I get so comfortable living in Australia that spending money on luxuries doesn’t bother me?

I got quite angry at God tonight during/after church tonight. The sermon was on how God goes all out for the lost. I spent most of it thinking about how blessed I am but then the poor got into my head. And I began to wonder how God can be going all out for them.

In the end I calmed down and looked through my India photos on my laptop for the while. I began to really feel that God loved every individual in my photos. I also saw how God raises up people to serve those in need.

I came back to my constant comfort. The miracle of the world is that it is not a lot worse then it is. Without God working I shudder to think how crap this world would become.

I find relience on God so hard in a society where it is so easy to at least think you are in control. Much easier when you know your stuffed without His help.

TEAR is definately a place where I fit. It is like a big extended family. Full of odd, crazy and cool people.

India’s draw is still strong on me. I enjoyed talking to people about it. The size of my next project there is still overwhelming me. I wonder if I am skilled enough to do it. It’s hard to keep it all in my head.

I feel a strong desire to travel to South Africa now too. One of the speakers at the conference was from there and she was fantastic. So articulate and humble. The projects her organisation do seem so well thought out.

How I work is also a challenge.

Incarnation ministry is a very intresting concept. It’s all about downward mobility living like the people you are ministering to. I wouldn’t mind getting an upward mobility assignment though :-). In the IT context working behind the scenes it’s hard to work out what to do in terms of downward mobility.

Interesting talk on the language of lament. I should write more about it latter.

Another good one about the church. It talked about how the church was inherintly human and that it is in its weakness that God works. Powerful stuff.

Just a quick note to say the TEAR Conference was great. So many good people. So much learning. The vibe was fantastic. That’s all for now.. Off to go on an adventure with Lesley and Jo :-).

Tonight was a very special commie dinner. Jo French is the best! But then again so are all my friends. It was cool people shared some of their stories and stuff.

God is good. He both humbled and honoured me tonight. It was tops.

I have been too busy lately. I don’t like what it does to me. I hate that I can forget about the plight of others for days and sometimes weeks. I hate when I don’t think about the way I am acting. I hate when I lose my focus on God. I hate when I let my heart become cold.

Thankfully with God these things can be fixed.

I was at a Sydney Anglican church tonight. They did a good job welcoming me unfortuanatly that was about all that was good. Well I talked to a guy who had done a medical elective at a hospital in India I’d been too that was cool to.

However the music was dead, so dry no passion. The songs were pretty mediocre.

The sermon though is what concerned me most. It was talking about Romans 8 and being conquerors as Christians. The person giving the sermon went on today about how difficult it was to be a Christian in Australia. How we are persecuted. I think that the concept of Christian’s being persecuted in Australia is rubbish. So maybe you get picked on every now and then big deal. Fat people probably get far more picked on.

He talked about being a Christian as being hard. I agree with this to a degree. It’s hard to be an authentic follower of Christ. Being a nominal Christian is a piece of cake. No one will do anything bad to you. That’s the problem. In a land so rich, in a posh suburb why not just be a nominal Christian. It’s so much safer. So easy to do. Requires a little bit of faith and effort and you get your get out of Hell free card. You can even keep your sports car or luxury 4WD.

Where as an authentic and deep rooted faith in Christ changes everything. I think if you take the Gospel and the Bible seriously you can not help but be changed by God. Take a look at the sermon on the mount. Have a read of Isiah, or Michah. Read the parables Jesus told. Such a hard path to truly follow Jesus. Maybe you can keep your luxury car but I doubt it. I think Jesus meant it when he said it was easier for a camel to parse through the eye of a needle then a rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven.

Trusting God is to risk everything you hold dear on earth. God may ask you to give up all that you hold dear. My prayer is that I will be authentic enough to allow God to have his way totally. Then I will be able to say I am a conqueror in Christ.

P.S
I don’t for a minute think that there weren’t authentic Christian’s at the church I went to. However I think that the middle class churches of Australia are breading grounds for shallow Christians.

We had a discusion about evangalism and social justice tonight at commy dinner. I was thinking about it walking home in the rain(I left home walking in the rain too).

The particular area I began thinking about was seeking God. I think one of God’s biggest concerns is justice. I think God cares more for the widows and orphans then we can imagine. From my reading of the Bible God spends so much time talking about social justice. The Old Testement has long passages denouncing injustices perpatrated by the people of the time. Jesus spent so much time on the fringes of the society when he was on Earth in physical form(Is that the theologically correct way of saying it Tom). Jesus said he came to save the lost. He healed the sick and reached out to the outcasts.

I wonder sometimes if we Christian’s in the West need to become outcasts if we need to lose our posesions. I think we could learn a lot if we were forced to depend on God.

When I look at the World the places I see God moving most strongly are not the affulent places. Not amoung the educated and rich. I see my God working on the fringes of society. I see God moving amoung the poor. Where their apears to be no hope there my God is.

This is the God who gave us parables about reckless abandon. The parable of the lost sheep tells of a shepard who risks the 99 safe sheep, all to find the one lost one. And when he finds them there is celebration.

What does this mean? For me I want to seek out my God and I think I have a pretty clear idea of where to look. The place which many try to avoid seeing, the fringes of society. The hopeless causes and the places of loss and suffering.

It reminds me of the “Seek Your Face” song from St John’s Darlinghurst about seeking God in the face of even domestic violence.

God truly is Merciful. He is love. He is God the great I AM.

Do we make Christianity too complicated.
Is it just me or what?

At it’s heart it has a very simple message, and requires a simple response. Somehow over the years we’ve over complicated the heart of the message. I think maybe because it’s all to radical and scary. To follow the Way is to be radically changed. Jesus’ example demands nothing less, but God provides his power for the change to occur.

And yet even though I say the message is simple I still don’t fully get it. Paradoxes abound.