One Geek

Wasn’t really in the whole worship vibe tonight. I couldn’t really get there tonight.
I think I am a bit upset with God at the moment. The eternal(well almost) question of suffering, and how to relate to God when you see people you love suffering. And when you too are also suffering. I want to praise God, but I can’t quite get there at the momment. Maybe tommorow I’ll be able to.

I wish I could just hate. It’s so easy and so pure. Much easier and less complicated then trying to love people who hurt you.

Other thought I am having is -
Why can I deal much better with people hurting me, then people hurting people I love?

I went to Belrose again tonight. Tom wasn’t there, which made it even better. Don’t get me wrong I love going to church with Tom, but it let me experience something tonight. Without Tom I was a little lost, but it made it cease to be Tom’s church. It became my church.

I think Soul this week really helped too. It’s nice though to have a church where I feel I can belong. It really does have the community vibe happening. I am feeling very excited about what God is doing there, and also what God is doing with me.

By the way thanks Tanya(who needs to get a blog) and Helen for sorting out my logistical difficulties this evening.

Just sent emails to people at TUC telling them I won’t be going to their Church anymore. There is no feeling quite like burning bridges.

Come sail your ships around me
And burn your bridges down

Nick Cave - The Ship Song

I have now officially moved churches to St Stephen’s Belrose. That’s cause of wonderful people, good teaching, good worship, etc.

After about a year in the wilderness I am Anglican again. It feels good. Uniting and Baptist just ain’t the same. Something draws me to Anglicanism.

Got a home group to go to for Turramarra Uniting Church(TUC). It’s in Hornsby which is nice, but I don’t know if I am going to keep going to the church or the home group. You see the problem for me is that I am not sure if I belong at TUC. I’ve been going on and off for about 9 months. Helped run a kids group gone to a few social events but never really hit it off. I have a few friends but no real closeness. I find it hard to talk to people too, the group dynamics don’t seem to work. The services are okay but I don’t really think they challenge me.

All this wouldn’t be a problem if I hadn’t gone to St Stephen’s Belrose last week. You see I’d been once before but that was for Tom preaching. I am pretty biased when it comes to Tom preaching and so therefore it didn’t supprise me I thought it was good. But when I went again I was suddenly confronted with how much better Belrose was. I am not just talking preaching though the preaching is top notch, I am talking about fellowship. When I have gone to Belrose I have had people to talk to. Macca’s has been great fun, and I at least think I fit in more socially. The only real problem with Belrose is the song slides.

But TUC has excellent song slides. And there are people I have formed relationships with. I don’t know if I am quite ready to leave those people yet.

So what to do. What to do. I think I have come up with a simple plan. I will attend each church at least once each month and see what I think. See whether God is leading me one way or the other. I might be going overseas for six months in July. When I come back I’ll make my final decision.

Does that sound fair?
Does anyone else have other suggestions as to how to do a church evaluation?
Do you think I should tell people at TUC that I am thinking of trying another church?