Homely blues
India and Nagaland were hard, being back in Sydney is harder. It’s odd considering how much time I spent looking forward to coming home that it is being more difficult.
Whilst I was in Nagaland and Delhi I had clear goals, clear deadlines, meaningful but hard work and things to look forward too.
Back in Sydney I have very vague goals, work that seems neither meaningful nor is it absorbing. As far as things to look forward too, there really are no big events lined up. Bluesfest was my last big event I know of this year.
All this stuff is perfectly normal to feel coming back from working in the field. I am not that surprised I am going through this, it still isn’t pleasant. I go through good days and bad days. I think it is also hard because I know there is so much good I could be doing in other countries but can’t see much good here for me to do. I could easily spend 40 hours a week telecommuting to India helping out EHA and CIHSR but I can’t make money that way. Besides remote troubleshooting is one of the most frustrating things to try and do.
I love my friends, and it’s good to be back with them and my family. They are often the source of my good days, and provide me with a healthy level of attachment to Sydney.
I’m trying to make some changes to make life better soon. I am going to start looking for jobs that cater to my needs and in the mean time I am also going to work on sorting out my thesis topic making it something I am passionate about.