One Geek

Although I have all these negative thoughts I still want to save the world. I don’t really think I can make any real impact on the big issues or even the small ones. It’s not about the result. It’s just about trying to improve the world. I’d like to say it’s all about God. I think deep down it is. But at the momment I am a fair distance away. Somewhere in India something snapped and it hasn’t been quite the same since.

It’s hard moving from an enviroment where you need to be dependent on God to one where you can be totally self reliant. It’s a curse. I am fiercly independant and need to learn how to depend. But at the momment I am not there yet.

I still believe the same stuff, and have a greater set of examples of God comming through for me. Just my spiritual tank is kind of empty at the momment. Hope I find a petrol station soon.

I have been so cynical lately. About the whole Tsunami and the motivation for the giving. I think it’s horible but the attention it get depresses me. What if the other areas that needed money got the same kind of attention? But they don’t. People living on tiny wages, children fighting wars, children dying of preventable causes it doesn’t rate. 150,000 is a lot of people to die don’t get me wrong. But stacks of people die of preventable stuff every day. I just can’t engage with the Tsunami at the momment.

Same way I felt with 9/11.

I am really feeling quite burnt out at the momment. I think switch off properly at the momment. Can’t seem to find a way to relax fully. Since coming back I to Oz I haven’t been quite the same. Or maybe I have. I may have just forgotton how I felt and worked back home. I can feel the tension in my shoulders.

I am not sure what it is that makes me feel this way. I don’t get the same satisfaction shopping either. I just get fustrated and decide I don’t need whatever I am looking for.

Maybe this is my reverse culture shock.

This blog is now called onegeek.net/blog. I have no plans of shutting down this new blog.

It’s time for this blog to finish. I have had a fun time but I feel it’s time to stop. No good stories left to tell. So goodbye.

Well I am in Adelaide with the roadtrippers now. Lot’s of fun but not much to write. Very fun vibe on this trip. Nice having all these people together.

Thanks for the comment Ryan on my post the other day.

I think hope is one of the most valuable things in the world. Hope, Faith and love. These three matter a lot.

Maybe 2005 will be a year of hope.

The world is in a pretty dark place at the momment. Not just with natural disastors but with man made ones.

I hope Iraq get’s sorted out this year.

I hope we drop the debt to developing nations.

I hope we give money for both AID and DEVELOPMENT work.

I hope we care about the other people in the world.

I hope reality TV will end.

I hope I’ll be a nicer person.

I hope my dreams will come true.

I hope that these hopes come true.