One Geek

I think that sex in a marriage can be a bad. Sex outside of marraige can never be good.

Perhaps if I didn’t think that it was a sin, then I would feel differently. If God only in marriage was just a recommendation from God, then there could be some good. But sin is never good, no matter how good it seems in the here and now.

David,

You are totally missing the point with your equations there. In God’s view (as far as what He considers good/bad, “sin”) sex within marriage is good and sex outside of the “marriage”(in the traditional man+woman meaning of the word)covenant is bad. We are not talking about the quality of the sex but the moral implications of it. Sex was a gift from God to be experienced between a man and woman married couple, bottom line, that is what he designed it for. Any time it is experienced outside of those conditions, there will be consequences whether one wishes to admit it or not. Ask a girl who has had multiple partners under the umbrella of “having fun” or “living life” how good she fells about herself, her sense of self worth/confidence. She has left a piece of herself with every one of those guy’s, leaving nothing of herself for herself! We were designed for one partner, a life long commitment to that one partner and to be intimate with that partner ONLY after marriage. Saddly this is rarely achieved these days…soon it will be forgotten the way things are going. Return comments welcome.

Scott

if you say - we are designed for 1 partner only, to get married & have sex with.

why do people go out with different people and date and if they feel that person is right for them and want to spend there life with them.

they all think, its time for sex - cause they can see themselves with that person for yrs to come. most of the time, which it doesnt go that way.

you come to broken relationship & promises or something you both think you had or would like to have.

even if god designed us for 1 person, why doesnt he show us or lets us meet the person in the 1st time - we are created, why we have to go through all this - hope & wishes or feelings of being with someone, liking, loving, caring for that special someone.

without meeting that someone in the 1st place.

Go out with people is exactually what you should be saying there Anmol! ‘Sex’ in a biblical sense is bound and anointed by God in a ‘right relationship’, right relationship is meaning for a married couple.
To have numerous relationships outside of the right relationship is fine, as long as no Sexual immorality or sex actually occurs. God states that clearly in His word. How would a person build the skills to have an effective relationship if they didnt first explore beyond friendship? For most, it often means a few girlfirends/boyfrinds before they find the right person. I dont rekon God says thats a bad thing as long as you respect the guidlines laid out in ‘HIS WORD’(for a christian anyway!) If you arnt a Christian believer you are bound by the things of this world, not what God desires.

And Life aint a walk in the park, if it was it would be just dandy. But you got choice, and you gotta learn stuff, If god shon His beam of light on your “Life partner” every time you walked past her, why would you even need to look or try!

God laid down these guidlines and instructions for us as humans. God is God and Knows whats guna work and not work, thats why these rules exist. Its us a sinners that either abide by them or choose not to. Live Like Jesus did and aim for these, im trying to.. God Bless.

I think the problem that David seems to find is that when it comes to the issue of sex and marriage its always the same argument thats brought up. And quite often issues are much more complex than being able to set black and white rules to them.
I find it a bit funny that when David says he’s sick of hearing the saem argument, he gets responded to…with the same argument. Personally, I think it can be a really bad thing to do in many relationships…but I mean, what about defacto couples…they are committed to each other, in a lot of cases moreso than a lot of married couples. Is it wrong for them to have sex? And in that sense it almost makes marriage a reason for people to get married just so they can have sex. And I know its not, i think that it should be more than that, but my point is, where is the line drawn between a piece of paper saying your married and a defacto couple being allowed to have sex. The issue is way too complex to be able to draw black and white conclusions I reckon.

Thank you Jum, you raised the defacto issue which had been on my mind too.

Good thoughts everyone else too..

My question is then, why be a defacto couple when you can get married?

If you are a Christian defacto couple that doesn’t believe in sex before marriage, then why not get married? Why say you are married, when you’re not? It’s only a piece of paper.

It would seem to me (although I don’t know much about this) that defacto relationships stem out of a desire for a lack of commitment. They may not end up that way, but at what point do you say “We are now committed enough that we know we’re going to stay together forever, so let’s start having sex”?

I think the defacto argument isn’t very good if you believe that sex is only for one partnership. If you don’t then that’s a whole other story.

I think the problem that if it really is just a piece of paper then why do it. if thats all it is, then I’d rather not get married. And I think that there are plenty of de-facto couples that are really committed. Carolyn and Chris for example, although now married, weren’t for a long time, and hadn’t for most of their relationship felt a need to get married. But it wasn’t that thery weren’t committed. they were really committed. And I don’t think that the reason they got married was just for the piece of paper to say that they can have sex now.
And I think that there wouldn’t really be many defacto couples that didn’t believe in sex before marriage. I think they probably think of their definition of marriage differently. And perhaps in some cases are trying to make a stand to saying marriage is just so they can have sex. I think that some de-facto couples probably have made the same commitment as marriage but haven’t officialised it through marriage because they simply haven’t felt the need, but I don’t think it means they are less committed than married couples. I’m sure some are though. But thats a different story for a different day ey?

david, you’re like a funny encouraging teacher who has to facilitate the conversation.

What an Encyclopedia.. Cool. Dave just remember christians are anointed and sealed when they are living by Gods Law and His Will. We can all have twenty differing opinions but without Jesus and His Teachings it is all crap. You know the Truth, the bible makes it clear, if it doesnt just talk to me. If we as humans quabble, comprimise and adjust stuff to our thoughts we fall into sin, sin is a no no!
Just a thought. Cool discussion though. God Bless