Love and Religion
I heard a sermon tonight that talked about the three layers of marital love. The three layers he talked about where passion/romance love, friendship love, and commitment love. It said some things that quite annoyed me.
One it suggested that God was going to provide you with your wife/husband. This implied that there was something wrong if you never ended up getting married.
The second was that it was suggested that, in dating friendship love was the thing to seek and that commitment love only happens at the altar. It also said that unconditional love was only shared by married people and God and humans. I think that this is a flawed argument. I personally have many friends that whatever they did I would still love them. I might not be able to continue to relate to them in some extreme cases but I would still love them.
Part of my problem I think is the use of absolute and overly simplified terms, to describe human relationships. I don’t think it works. I understand the need to simplify things, so we can get our heads around them. It’s what I do as an engineer in training. Engineers work with models of the world that make it easier to calculate things, and work out solutions to problems. You never forget though that what you have worked out is based on a model which assumes a great many things that may not be true. If the model is good you might not have too many problems when you use your solution in the real world. Sometimes though your models don’t work at all in the real world.
I think if we recognised the assumptions and simplification of psychological models and religious models we would deal with real world complexity much better.
David,
I hardly ever browse the net, but by chance I happened to come across your thoughts here. Couple of comments for you.
God will supply your wife or husband if you are trusting in him to do so. If a person does not give a rip about God and uses his/her free will (so graciously given by God)to live life according to their own absolutes and desires then you can be assured that God will not enter into that “contract”. God cares about each and every one of us, whether we care about him or not…He will not intervine in our lives unless we specifically ask him to do so. As far as the people who do not get married; there are so many variables that can enter into that argument that is impossible to make a blanket statement. As far as someone who does not get married and they are a person that lives according to the statutes of God…read some of the writtings of the Apostle Pual in the New Testament on this topic.
On the second point I would have to agree that the deliverer of that message is a little off track. I have two young childern, I love them unconditionally, I am not married to them. To isolate unconditional love to marrige is definitly not reasonable or thought out. I do have to say though, I believe that it is very rare for humans to be able to exhibit unconditional love…not saying that it is impossible though. If one of those friends that you say you love unconditionally were to brutally kill your closest companion, mother/father or your child even, how would feel about that person then? Honestly? God is the author of unconditional Love and he is the only One that exhibits it all the time. As someone that apreciates the idea of unconditional love I chose to be involved with a being that has designed that concept and will always relay it to me. Life is very simple in God’s eyes and God’s will, we are the ones that make complex and difficult through our poor choices and our unwillingness to give up control. Return comments welcome.
Scott
Hey Dave,
Also remember clearly also that God calls elected people to a single life. For a person that is not bound by marriage, or a relationship, he could probably use more freely and readily. And God also desires some people to have the gift of abstenance and huge self-control.
Is it your gift? Do you know what your gifts are? maybe you need to confirm/deny what your stand is on this matter. ALWAYS refer back to Gods word if you have a problem with a sermon or testimony, No other book will confirm the truth to you if you didnt like what they were saying.
God Bless.
No other book will confirm the truth if you do like what they are saying too.
You wouldn’t want people just tickling your ears.