One Geek

Is a wonderful thing.

For short periods of time. If it makes you get up off your bum.

I am at a stage in my life where I don’t get praise music. I don’t really feel like jumping up and down and worshiping God. I do love God, but I am a bit distant at the moment. I loved music at St Pete’s, I could relate to a lot of the stuff there even when I was feeling like utter crap. Unfortunatally most other places I have been don’t have many of the beautiful mellow songs(not hymn old). Pilgrim in Adelaide had one of them.

I have difficult relating to songs with words I can’t honestly sing. I screw up I don’t do everything for God, in fact I do very little for God. I don’t really feel like singing his praises forever at the moment.

I am lost and feel very alone, but I know God loves me. I know there is a path back to God, but I don’t know if I am ready. There is so much in this world that I just don’t understand. I find it hard to pray living in a house where so much suffering is going on. I find it hard to pray when I have lost hope that the things I would most desire to happen. When we haven’t seen my sister for two years I find it difficult to believe my parents and her will ever be recouncilled.

I guess I just have to put my faith and doubt in God. Jesus once said something about a mustard seed of faith. Well I reckon I might have enough at the moment for a few grains. That’s a decent start.

So “Jesus take me as I am I can come no other way.”

I don’t like when people ask people to put up their hands or come down the front for prayer. I don’t feel comfortable raising my hand for prayer or going down the front of a church for prayer. I don’t like people praying over me when I don’t know what they are going to pray for. It’s probably just a control issue that I should get over. But all the same it’s uncomfortable. Also people placing their hands on you can be weird too.

Went to Tom’s church tonight. It was pretty good. Tom’s talk was really well done. It’s odd to think that people can make sermons interesting without losing the message. People should do more of that. It’s a shame that clergy are often dull orators.

Got to talk to a few people to. Though Helen kept on talking in French. Went to Macca’s afterwoods with people from Tom’s church. They all seem like nice people.

My last post reminded me of an episode of Buffy called Hush where everyone lost there voices. It was by being forced to stop talking that Buffy and Reilly finally got together. Weadon said that the idea was to stop talking and start communicating.

I think sometimes it’s better to say less. It can really aid clarity. However it is difficult to say things with brevity. It really does make one think about the key point. Short is good!

Even without Howie

Photos of LCA. I took a couple myself I’ll put them up later (when the roll is finished).

Home now the trip is all over. I might get some sleep now.

At the airport waiting for my plane. It’s good fun typing on this crappy keyboard. Should be home in a couple of hours.

I sat in Parks for most of today reading my book. It was good fun. Adelaide is quite cold today in the shade but not in the sun. It’s a bit annoying.

I’ve decided to catch a taxi back to the airport soon because its only ten bucks more and is much less of a hassle.

I am now checked out of my room and have to find ways to kill time until my flight at 6.40pm. I went on a walk to try and find a church. It took a little while. I ended up going to Pilgram Uniting Church. Which was actually quite nice, however I think they were a little over welcoming. There was a woman who took my name and then actually individually welcomed all the visitors and pointed at them. It was a liturgy which was quite nice.

Had breakfast at Coffee Club. And now I am in an internet cafe writting on an emac. Which is kind of fun.

The chairs and keyboards suck here. I am not going to blog any more from here. More later.

LCA is over now. It was a bit of fun. They had a dunk tank, to raise money for a charity. First they had Linus dumped that raised about $5k which was good. Then they dunked a whole lot of other people. Auctioning of the chance to dunk the people. I threw one ball. My throw was bad, so I just ran up and kicked the target. Most people ended up doing that. Now I am all done. I had to try three internet cafe’s before I could find one that was opened. I was also trying to go to a supermarket but they were both closed. grr.

The organizers gave everyone four icecream vouchers as part of there package. THe vouchers are for Gaytime icecreams. There all right, but I think they could of chosen a better icecream