Praise
I am at a stage in my life where I don’t get praise music. I don’t really feel like jumping up and down and worshiping God. I do love God, but I am a bit distant at the moment. I loved music at St Pete’s, I could relate to a lot of the stuff there even when I was feeling like utter crap. Unfortunatally most other places I have been don’t have many of the beautiful mellow songs(not hymn old). Pilgrim in Adelaide had one of them.
I have difficult relating to songs with words I can’t honestly sing. I screw up I don’t do everything for God, in fact I do very little for God. I don’t really feel like singing his praises forever at the moment.
I am lost and feel very alone, but I know God loves me. I know there is a path back to God, but I don’t know if I am ready. There is so much in this world that I just don’t understand. I find it hard to pray living in a house where so much suffering is going on. I find it hard to pray when I have lost hope that the things I would most desire to happen. When we haven’t seen my sister for two years I find it difficult to believe my parents and her will ever be recouncilled.
I guess I just have to put my faith and doubt in God. Jesus once said something about a mustard seed of faith. Well I reckon I might have enough at the moment for a few grains. That’s a decent start.
So “Jesus take me as I am I can come no other way.”